Okay here goes nothing! I'm a blogger now. 

We, that is, Miriam and I, and the huge aircraft that we rode on to get here, set down in Melbourne
Australia at about 7:15 this morning. We were able to get about four or five fitful hours of sleep on
our fifteen hour journey across the vast expanse of the Pacific Ocean. But the excitement of being
in the land "down under" was enough to make us feel well rested. We'll see how long that lasts. 

Going through the rituals of customs and immigration has changed since the last time I traveled,
which was only last August. The entire process went very smoothly yet we did not meet face to
face with another human being until the very last thing that we had to do, which was hand in the
receipts that the machines spit out. That’s okay with me, but Mim is upset because this is the first
time that her passport was not stamped. Oh well, I guess at some point we may need that stamp
to remind us that we took this trip! 

Coming out of the airport terminal I turned on my birding radar and asked Mim, what do you think
the first bird we see is going to be? She hedged, are there House Sparrows in Australia? I said, well
yes there are House Sparrows, and European Starlings, and Rock Pigeons, and added they are the
only three species of passerines that occur regularly in North America and Australia. She chose
House Sparrow. Can you guess it? If you guess correctly you’ll win the prize, which is six weeks
of free access to this blog. Yes the first bird came about thirty seconds later, wait for it,,,,,,,,,,,,,
House Sparrow. 

We picked up the rental car, or I should say the "car hire" and proceeded to our first destination. The
car is equipped with Apple Car Play. So that means I can hook my phone up to the car and the GPS
screen on my phone appears in the monitor on the dash-board. Very nice! At that point we didn't
realize just how useful it would be.

Okay, so to just set the stage, you do know that in Australia they drive on the wrong side of the road.
I know that sounds like the stereotypical "Ugly American" thing to say, but remember folks, it's not
cool to stereotype, so just knock it off. But I digress….. Back to my story. As my granny would say,
“Good night in the morning” which basically translates to “Oh my God”. I'm sure that I'm going to get
used to this but I really feel that I've been thrown into a fire. Everytime I see a car coming toward me
I have to tell myself that it’s not going to hit us. 

Right now I can hear all the birders on this blog thinking, "I thought that he said this was going to be a
"bird-centric blog” and so far all I've heard about is a freaking House Sparrow.” Just be patient, we're
getting there. 

So, as I was saying. We're driving to our first destination which is the Yellingbo Nature Reserve,
which Siri informs us is about an hour and thirty minutes away. Mim is navigating, or really I should say,
she is translating, as all the navigation is being expertly executed by your friend and mine, Siri. We are
passing through the outskirts of Melbourne and soon the vast housing tracks give way to pastures,
rolling hills, farm houses, and finally thick gum tree forests. Everything is so green. If it were not for
the gum trees, it would look a lot like Oregon does now. 

We enter into a small town and we're getting kind of tired and feeling a little peckish so we decide to
stop in for a bite at this nice looking bakery. I need to make a right hand turn, which over here is of
course more like a left hand turn. The first thing I do is signal my intent by turning on the wind-shield
wipers, AGAIN!!!. Yes I did say windshield wipers. Remember how I said that over here they drive on
the wrong side of the road, well they also have placed the wind-shield wiper control stick, (I don’t think
I have ever thought about what that is called, maybe an indicator?, I’ll take suggestions) anyhow on
with it already, as I was saying, they have placed the wind-shield wiper indicator stick thingy on the
wrong side of the steering wheel. I let out a few choice swear words and correct the error and wait
for the head on cross traffic to pass before crossing over the right lane and into the sanctuary of a
parking space. Good grief! 

We go inside this quite lovely cafe and order our lattes and scones, mine with soy milk no less! And
it's amazing, I understand every word the waitress said!  It's a good thing I studied up on my Australian.
I always study up on the language of the country I am visiting, but this time I have really nailed it. Upon
returning to the car I realized that I have to back it out onto a busy road, across the right lane and into the
left lane and then go forward from there. So I get a little break in the traffic and just like that I back across
the right lane, so good, so far. Now all I have to do is go forward and straighten it out a bit and all's good mate,
no worries. But I am nervous as hell and looking kind of desperate now because I know that this brief break from
traffic on this busy road is just that, a brief break. I reach for the gear shift but I can't find it. More nervous now.
I look down for it but all I see are the buttons for rolling down the windows and the door handle.. A lot more nervous
now. Holy shit! The gear shift is on the wrong side too! So I reach over to the wrong side --- with my wrong fucking arm -
and slam the gear shift into drive just a Mim begins to shout, in sort of in the cadence of a Canyon Wren, or for you i
nternational birders, a Great Antshrike if you prefer, that is  first slowly and random, Dew (for those of you that don't
know, that's her pet name for me, and it has nothing to do with the stuff dogs leave on the sidewalk)...........
Dew........Ah....Dew....Dew?......Dew....Dew...Dew..Dew..DewDewDewDew and then adds GET OUT OF THE ROAD!!!
Just like that little scold the Canyon Wren and the Great Antshrike give at the end of their song. 

Of course I am trying my best, which today is, thank God, good enough. I pull back across the right
lane and onto the side of the road but in the right direction now. When the break in the traffic returns I
signal my intent to make a right turn,,,, you guessed it, with my wind-shield wipers. 

Okay now we come to the point where all the birders are saying "finally" and the non-birders are saying
“ah crap”. We finally arrive at the Yellingbo Nature Reserve. This is a private reserve managed by The
Friends of the Helmeted Honeyeater. The Helmeted Honeyeater is a highly endangered subspecies of
the Yellow-tufted Honeyeater. And you guessed it, it is also the reason I picked this place to spend the
morning. 

Helmeted Honeyeater - Not my photo. 

It's a little breezy and about eighty degrees. I'm not sure of the protocol for the reserve, so rather than
just heading on down the trail, we walk over to where a small group of folks are having lunch. I asked
them about the possibility of walking the trail and this bloke tells me "sure you can walk it, no problem,
and when you hear the gunshot, just duck". Thankfully the entire group let out a big laugh. 

They all were very nice and gave us some pointers on where and where not to go. However, they didn't
hold out much hope for seeing the honeyeater. But that's okay, every bird on this day will be a lifer, except for the House Sparrow. 

We started to walk down the track, that's what they call a dirt road, and Mim finds one of my target
birds for this area. It's an Olive Whistler! A regional speciality. A little farther up the track she spots a
Crimson Rosella! 

Photo:

The “track” at Yellingbo Nature Reserve

As we walk along I am overwhelmed with all the calls and songs coming from the forest, none of
which I recognize. Along the way I notice several Gray Fantails and I quickly learn their song. I spot a
Spotted Pardolate and as I am trying to get Mim on it, it disappears. We keep looking but soon are
about to get on another movement high in an adjacent tree, when it pops its head out of a nest cavity.
On up the track we hear the unmistakable chatter of the Laughing Kookaburra. Soon we see a
White-spotted Honeyeater

An Eastern Yellow Robin, not at all like the Robin we are used to. 

And we finally found the Laughing Kookaburra. If you are interested in the entire list click here.

The day was getting late and we decided to forego a trip to try for the Superb Lyrebird because it's too
far out of the way. Instead we make for the Royal Botanic Gardens in downtown Melbourne. Getting
there was uneventful, except for, well lets just say the windshield was very clean upon our arrival. 

We parked and started out for the gardens. In a park along the way we saw several Noisy Miners
and many beautiful and even noisier Rainbow Lorikeets. Inside the gardens we split up so that Mim
could walk without stopping every ten yards. Soon I was looking at many 

Red Wattlebirds. Further up the path I found a few busy White-browed Scrubwrens. Continuing on I
heard a very loud raucous call and soon found the source, a Sulphur-crested Cockatoo. It was
incredible to see it flying with the skyscrapers in the background. Later I met up with Mim and we
walked around the lake.

Australian Swamphen

 

Little Wattlebird

Australian Magpie

Later we saw Little Raven, Australian Grebe, Pacific Black-duck. While I was agonizing over the ID of
a Brown Thornbill, Mim says, oh look here's a warbler! Of course I'm not going to let that slide. And I
properly look down my nose at her and in my best British accent, which is quite terrible, thanks
anyway, I say, "My dear, there are no warblers in Australia". Okay I can hear all the birders thinking,
oh he's wrong, what about the Australian Reed Warbler and the Rockwarbler? Huh mister big shot
whoop-tee-do international birder? Well I say,  “not so fast” my friend. You know that's NOT the kind
of warbler she's talking about, so just knock it off. I mean “get real”. 

But after letting the necessary time pass, to suggest it's not worth looking at. I give in and Shazam! If
she hasn't done it again. It's a so very beautiful, in perfect evening light, Silvereye! 

Silvereye

Then Mister Willy Wagtail comes along and parades his little dance through the maze of people
spread out on the lawn. Very cute. We cap off the day with a Little Raven and an Australian Wood
Duck, which I’m sorry Aussies, we got you on this one. Now it's time to head to the B&B, get a bite to
eat, and get horizontal. 

We tell Siri where we want to go and she says no problem, it’s only twenty-five miles away and will
take approximately an hour. So we say “what the heck, what are you gonna do”. Besides it’s our first
day of a long vacation. So we turn right when she says turn right and left when she says left and so on
and so forth. All’s good, no worries mate. But then we are behind this pick up and after two or three
minutes of sitting still we begin to realize that there’s some sort of police action up ahead and traffic is
at a crawl, it at a stand still. After ten minutes I hang a very nervous U-turn and we’re going to
purposely get lost so that Siri can find us a different route. Now that I am writing this I’m saying to
myself, just like you are thinking too, how stupid of an idea is that! More stupid than you can imagine
because after going about two miles in moderate traffic and both of us smiling and patting ourselves
on the back for outsmarting Siri, we make a left turn, which feels so much like a right turn to me, and
there it is, a massive line of cars going nowhere. 

At this point there is no escape so after about twenty minutes to get through one light, we inch along
and inch along and inch along until we are like “hey deja vu man”. Yeah big time because just up
ahead Siri is pointing to the exact spot where I had pulled the Ueey a half hour ago. I can almost hear
Siri laughing as hard as a Kookaburra, hey that’s pretty good, huh? Get it, laughing as hard as a
Kookaburra. Okay okay back to the story. 

So Mim and I, at the same time say, hey man that looks a lot like where we were stuck behind that
truck. And then at the same time we say, hey man, that is the same place we were stuck behind that
truck. But now it’s not like “hey no worries mate”, it’s like, excuse the French here, “game over man,
we’re fucked”. But then at the last second before the point of no return she suggests that we can turn
right. So without thinking I immediately do so and traffic is moving very nicely now. That’s until I notice
that what we have turned on to is actually a three lane freeway onramp and the freeway or should I
say parking lot is eight lanes! 

But again we are past the point of no return. So we get Greg Brown on the Spotify app and we’re
singing along to Canned Goods, and then Dream Cafe, and the Early, and then, oh well you get the
idea. After an hour we have gone about ten miles when all of a sudden Siri changes her mind and
says in essence, “y’all is toast and this route ain’t for shit, get y’all ass off this parking lot and on to
some surface street action.” I say “nuh uh, I ain’t down with that surface street shit”. Mim says “hey
listen to Siri and take the next exit. Problem is, we are in the fourth lane and that means in one
kilometer I need to get over four lanes. Siri chimes in now that the road is closed up ahead. A couple
of emergency vehicles go buzzing by. Traffic is moving steady at about five miles an hour. I think, well
I can handle five miles an hour and I don’t know what might be on those surface streets. Could be a
maze of traffic lights and roundabouts. I dig in. “No I think we’re better off just sticking it out here in
this parking lot”, I say. Mim looks at me and says “you turn on your fucking wind-shield wipers and get
this car moving to the left and off this freeway”. At this, we totally break out laughing til we have tears
in our eyes. Meanwhile folks in the cars around us are thinking, “I want what they’ve been smoking”, 

After that, I give in and we get off the freeway and onto surface streets. The going was slow, but faster
than the freeway. Made me think of a Yogism, “we may be lost but we’re making good time”. Eventually
we were routed back on to the parking lot but it was moving along by that point. 

We made it to our BnB in Little River and we were starving. Little River, from what we could tell and
would be verified the following morning, consisted of this BnB and a pub right next to it. So without
checking in we headed straight for the pub. We walked in to the dining section and we’re thrilled that
we were the only ones there. Oh boy we’ll get served our food in a jiffy. Then we thought, hey this is
the only place to eat for twenty miles in every direction and no one is here. 

But the waitresses were happy to see us and when I asked if they had gin and tonic and they said yes,
well, need I say more. We were seated and given menus and advised that “tonight is Parmi Night”.
We must have looked confused because she handed us a special menu and said everything on it had
parmesan cheese in it. I thought, well alrighty then, just come along with the gin and tonic if you will. 

So we decide on what to have and then we waited while the waitresses cleaned the spoons, filled salt
shakers, seated a few more folks, and generally made themselves busy with just about everything
except taking out order. When one of them approached our table I tried to put on my best face, like a
dog that’s tied up outside a store and sees his master coming out. But it didn’t work because she went
about setting up a table. But Mim wasn’t having it. She was hungry and cranky and for once it wasn’t
me who was in the line of fire. She got the teenagers attention and said with the classic valley girl
rising tone,, “hey, can you, like, take our order?”.  

And that’s it for our first day in Australia.